A Parental Pat on the Back

Parenting seems to bring out a lot of my insecurities, and I am far from a perfect parent. I know that I make mistakes daily, and if I don't see them personally, my kids are quick to point them out to me. It is difficult to see progress on the parenting front each day. It's even more difficult to get positive feedback on a day-to-day basis. When I was the marketing director at Valley Foods, I got positive feedback all the time. I would complete a project and receive the accolades of my managers and co-workers. The formula for success seemed fairly simple - do a good job, receive a reward, do a good job, receive a reward. This job of parenting is a whole different ball game! Though I definitely consider parenting to be rewarding, it is a long process and the positive feedback comes only occasionally. I often wonder how I am really doing and if the teachings Brad & I try to instill in our girls are sinking in.

I felt very fortunate, as Brad and I sat with our girls' teachers this week. We actually got a pat on the back, and the positive feedback came when both Katie and Madi's teachers had auspicious things to say about the character of our girls. One of Katie's teachers shared a specific incident she observed and then told us that we should be very proud of our daughter and her dedication to staying true to her values:

During lunch one day that week Katie and a few friends were planning to get together and one of the girl's moms was either going to take the girls swimming or to see a movie. The girls were deciding what movie they would see, and Katie knew that we would not approve any of the suggestions and told her friends that. One girl suggested that Katie just tell us one they were seeing one movie then go to another. Katie immediately said, "you want me to lie to my parents about the movie? I'm not going to do that!"

Good for you, my daughter! By the way, the girls ended up going swimming :).

We went right from our meeting with Katie's teachers to meeting with Madi's teachers. Her English teacher is the one who actually brought me to tears as she complimented Brad and I on our parenting and our dedication to our faith which, she believes, has grounded Madi in a way that has prepared her for high school more than anything else. It meant the world to me to get this compliment from Madi's 60-year-old, New York bred, long-time school teacher. She then asked us if we had read Madi's American Dream paper, a short paper the students were assigned to write after reading "Death of a Salesman". We had not read Madi's paper - we didn't even know about. Her teacher couldn't believe we hadn't seen it and essentially assigned us both to go home and read it - which we did. This paper was evidence to Madi's teacher that Madi knows who she is and where she is going. Maybe - just maybe the things we are trying to teach ARE sinking in . . .

My American Dream by Madi Wallace

In a world full of judgment and hatred, we can’t help thinking about what our life would be like if everything and everyone were perfect. When this comes to mind I think of these words. Love, acceptance, joy, and happiness. Harmony, family, laughter, and stability. All these words have one thing in common; they are a part of my ideal American Dream.

When I get older, I would like to look back on my life and know I was happy, that I had a happy family, and that our family got along and enjoyed each others company. So, part of my American Dream would be a happy family, with good morals and values, times of great laughter and fun, and a financially stable life. Unlike Willy’s family in the book The Death of a Salesman I don’t want to have to worry about money to support my family all my life and would like children that can support themselves when they get older.

Although it would be great to have expensive things, and look great in nice clothes all the time, in the end those materialistic things won’t matter. I am not saying those kind of things are not a part of my American Dream but, I do think that those kind of things leave our brain after awhile, or they get lost. So it would be nice to remember good memories, and harmony in lots of things we do.

I am starting to prepare in my life now so I can live up to my American Dream. My education, and the way my family is now will help for that purpose. I think everyone should have their ideal life planned out so that in the future they can try to live to their American Dream.

I can't leave out Lacey because her teachers had many good things to say about her, too. She is a very driven student and hard worker. She especially excels in math and reading. She is a good friend and respectful of others. I am so glad that she is doing so well in school.

So for all the trials and difficulties of parenting, it's moments like these that gives me confidence to continue what I am doing. These moments help erase a few of my insecurities, even if for a brief moment, to help me see that there is progress and that despite all the mistakes we make, we are doing something right and our daughters are truly amazing people. I came straight home from those meetings, sat my daughters down, and through my tears told them how inspiring and phenomenal they are and how proud I am of them. I told them that when we live together day in & day out, it's sometimes easy to see all the things we do wrong and not as easy to see all the things that we do right. I wanted them to know that what they are doing is right . . . that what we are doing as a family is right. And yes, they thought I was a little silly for crying, but then - they're not mothers yet!