When I was a new, little seventh grader at Cannon Junior High, I learned to fear and loathe the very appearance of the school hall monitors. I had never experienced hall monitors before and these folks were flat mean (and a little freaky looking, I might add), and I did not like them. If I ever had to be out in the hall during class time, I prayed that I could avoid the meanies! They were particularly rude when it came to directing traffic in the halls between classes. We had "one-way passing" - so if you passed through the halls going the wrong way, you would meet with the wrath of the resident hall monitors. Who did they think they were? Talk about a power trip! All the trauma of these distant memories came flooding to my mind yesterday after a little experience in the hallways at church . . . and sometimes, well, you just have to vent . . .
Sunday School was just getting started and I was walking through the halls, which were mostly empty. I came across a young mom, new to the ward, playing with her very chunky, almost-one-year-old little boy. He is so chunky that you just can't resist rubbing his chunky belly - which I did, in a most friendly, motherly, and loving manner! I chatted with the mom a minute and then she quickly told me that she was just waiting for her husband & then they were headed to class. Oh - that's nice. Wait - what did she say to me? Did she just tell me she was going to class? Who does she think I am - the HALL MONITOR??? I promptly told her that I wasn't going to class, but was headed home because I had to get something my daughter left there. Seriously - what did she think I was going to do - run & tell the "bishop"? He was roaming the halls himself, keeping track of his own one-year-old, a certain Mr. Benjamin Bradley.
As I drove home here's a bit of what went through my head -
"why does she think she has to tell me that she's going to class? Does she really think I care? The only people I care to make sure are in class would be my own little people - Madi, Katie, & Lacey. Other than that, do what you want! I know she's young and new and doesn't really know me, but still. Am I just the matronly, "mother of the ward" in her eyes, making sure that all the ward members go to class? Apparently so! Doesn't she know I'm totally normal? Come on - my kids were undoubtedly the worst behaved of anyone's during sacrament meeting; I wanted to wring Lacey's neck multiple times throughout the entire service; and I forgot to fast & it's fast Sunday. I'll show her - just for that, when I get home, I'm eating a piece of chocolate and playing a quick game on the computer before I go back to church - so there!"
So - when I got back to the church (after I had 2 pieces of chocolate & 2 quick games on the computer), there she was sitting on the couch in the foyer, with her husband. Hmmmm she didn't go to class after all and she was caught by the illustrious HALL MONITOR, Sister Bishop! What would be her excuse this time, because you know she's going to give me one, and she did! Of course, the excuse was just - we're playing hooky today. My response - "Get used to it! You'll be playing hooky for the next six months till "little guy" turns 18 months & can go to nursery. I don't think I've been to Sunday School more than 25% of the time this year thanks to my little guy!" (See, I'm normal, ok?!)
OK - so now I've vented, you already know I'm normal, and that makes me so very happy! In time she'll probably figure that out too. Now I just need to bury those "hall monitor" memories again & hope they don't surface for a very long time!
Everett Andrew Duncan, Jr. 9/26/1958-01/02/2015
9 years ago
6 comments:
Your too funny...she just wanted to look good in the eyes of Sister Bishop:)once she gets to know your chocolate eating game playing behavior she won't be reporting to you anymore! I still remember one monitor we had at D.F. We called her "white hair" because she had totally white hair yet, I am sure she was only in her 30's-40's. She pulled her hair back into a pony as tight as it could possibly go, and oh she was MEAN with a double capital. She would hide behind the wall and if she caught you running from the lunch room to the playground, she would jump out at you and say "your on the wall" it was all very traumatic. I do wonder where these people get their power trips from...craziness!
This was the funniest post I've ever read!
I have to laugh at this as I experience the bishop's wife thing every week and I am NOT the bishop's wife. I am the friend of the bishop's wife and really that is a weird thing, too. My friend and I sit together and I get to hear how people talk to her, check in with her, drop hints to her, and so on...I also hear from her some of the at home stuff that happens. And, being married to the bishop's exec. sec. is funny, too. People call our house to ask for Wayne and if he is not there, they start to tell ME stuff and even go as far as to ask me things such as, "your a counselor...what should I ...." I always just say I can have Wayne call them and if they want a referal to a therapist, I am happy to provide a list. So funny....
On the topic of the hall monitor situation - I never had a probelm at Cannon as my mommy was the librarian and I got away with A LOT - except cheating on a math test once - that was ugly!
LaRae - if you feel this traumatized by the hall monitor thing, I can give you the therapist referal list, if you need it! =)
She had a guilty conscience. :-) I must admit that people hanging out in the hall/foyer during class annoys me...if they don't have a good reason like taking care of/trying to keep up with a little one.
LaRae, you are hilarious. You have a definite knack for humor. I'm certain if you ever chose to write a book of mormonly-mom experiences it would be a church best seller...
LaRae you crack me up. I am always surprise at how your rebellion comes out, because you were never rebellious growing up, well almost never! My first thought was that she was feeling guilty as well. I just love Sunday School, and miss it so much when I can't go. It is the best time for me to get into the scriptures! I used to teach sunday school, and it definitely was my favorite calling. (it was the sixteen and seventeen yr olds). It was so fun tho....I never learned so much in all my life! The cannon hall monitors scared me to death too, and they were REALLY freaky looking! Funny the things we remember from so long ago. Loved the sponge bob picture as well.
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