Hi! How are things? It's been a while, I know. Sorry. It's not that I haven't wanted to update my blog, because I have. So what's my problem, you ask? Hard to say, exactly. Just life, I guess. Just figuring out how to budget my time better, I guess. What's that? You want to know why I can't budget my time better when all my girls are in school all day & I only have one little toddler at home. Hmmmm - good question! I think I can blame the clocks in my house. Yes! I am sure they are all against me! They seem to be moving faster than they're supposed to! Have you ever had this problem? If so, maybe you can help me with this little issue. We have to s-l-o-w down these clocks! Whenever it seems that things should slow down, I miraculously find more to occupy my time. It would be nice to learn how to relax a little, wouldn't it?! I fear it's not in my blood - makes me think of a quote from one of Judy's recent blog posts. President Hinckley's quote rings true -
"Our lives become extremely busy. We run from one thing to another. We wear ourselves out in thoughtless pursuit of goals which are largely ephemeral. We are entitled to spend some time with ourselves in introspection, in development, in thinking, meditating, pondering things."
So I must admit, I have way too many ephemeral pursuits and I am wearing myself out, as the quote says. But still - if those clocks would just slow down . . . it might help . . . maybe. Anyway, this past Sunday Brad taught a lesson in church to the women (which I missed!) and this topic was part of the discussion. Well - I should say the lesson included a discussion about "the good things in life (I guess you could say the ephemeral things in life) that take up our time and distract us from the truly great and eternally important things we should be doing." He told me the lesson went really well because he had lots of participation. Well, of course there was an abundance of participation! What woman cannot relate to this idea? When Brad introduced the topic for discussion, one woman immediately piped up and said this was her life, exactly - "time filled up with good things that keep her from the great things". You know there were probably 20 more who thought the exact same thing - she was just the first one to express it. Since I wasn't there to participate during the lesson, I participated at home as we discussed my frustration with the "good" things I do that keep me from the great things. The problem is, the good things are important and do bring me some personal satisfaction and make for a fulfilling earthly life, but they certainly occupy too much of my time and often keep me from the things with an eternal perspective. So now I am trying to sort out - are these things largely ephemeral? Do they have value in the eternal realm?1. Can we start with laundry? How about cleaning the kitchen & preparing meals and everything else I do around the house. Does a clean house really matter in the eternal scheme of things? Probably not, although I guess it is important to keep a "house of order". There must be some eternal principle I am learning here, right?
2. What about things like taking kids to soccer practices & dance lessons? Again - I am not exactly sure how much eternal significance these things really have. Sure there's some as they help my children gain knowledge, but how much? and is it knowledge they will need in the next life?
3. What about all the shopping I do to keep this household of 6 living, eating, clothed, and functioning? - there's a lot of time eaten up with this category, though I can't wholly ignore it! It seems like someone always needs something. Of course, my trips to Target for necessities often end in perusal of other aisles and items that aren't necessary at all!
4. What about my volunteering on behalf of the school, which feels more like a part-time, unpaid job right now. Does it really matter how many families I motivate to participate in a particular fundraiser? Does it really matter if I coordinate the school book fair, or if I'm the "kindergarten mom" for Lacey's classroom? Eternally? I don't think so. Although, I certainly like being in touch with the pulse of the school, and I like being involved for the sake of my kids.
I am rambling, aren't I? And all you asked is why can't I budget my time better. Sorry - I guess I'm a little sensitive to that question. Everyday I tell myself I am going to do better tomorrow. That counts for something, right?
I do like the fact that in President Hinckley's quote, he doesn't say we should avoid all thing ephemeral. I think he infers that these things are just a natural part of earthly life. I think he is trying to remind us that we need to take the time to be quiet and still & ponder and pray & think and meditate. We need to find the time to focus on things eternal amid all that we do that is so temporal. I'm trying, really I am. Sometimes I just feel like there is this tug of war going on and I am the rope and there are 5 different teams pulling on me - each pulling an arm, a leg, or a head! Who is going to win?
6 comments:
So, I guess right now would not be a good time to ask you if you've read any of the books you have listed in your side-bar. I've been waiting to read another one of your book commentaries; I really enjoy them. No pressure though. I will find entertainment elsewhere.
And, this has nothing to do with filling your time with more meaningful things, but, I like the necklace you are wearing! In many of your closeups you have great necklaces on!
". . . time filled with good things that keep me from the really great things . . . " Yes, I can relate to that for sure. I have been trying to get to the Temple for the past couple of weeks, but I don't seem to have the time - and that's gotta change.
I do not know where time goes when it flies away, and why it doesn't take my dirty dishes, unwashed clothes, and trash out with it.
Even now, I woke up super early to get to work super early, and instead of doing what needs to be done, I'm checking on and commenting on blogs, trying to fit everything in. Oh well ... time stops for no one.
Well, I am glad that I am not the only one suffering from this. I have often told Doug that time is against me. I feel like the clocks are on fast-forward and I am on rewind! It really isn't fair. I wonder if the kids going back to school just interupts the whole routine and we have to figure out a new one? I too am trying harder each day to budget my time better...to no success each day. I guess we just keep on trying!
I'm not so sure it is all time, but doing too much and trying to be 'super mom.' When my boys were in Elementary School - I worked late swing (5 pm - 1 am) and was PTA Pres, scout leader, room mom, etc... etc... I was exhausted all the time - and you know what - they complained that I was at school too much - that they felt like they could not be there by themselves. This was their way of saying, "Mom, we want to do life on our own sometimes." Now, I am not saying doing all those things and being way involved in children's life is bad, as it definately is not, but I think we get wrapped up in doing too much FOT them, and they do not learn how to do things or make decisions on their own, but themselves without mom and dad helping. Sort of like when we "help" with science projects and they have the coolest one, but did 1% of the work. Does this make sense? It was so hard to not be co-dependent for my kids when they were small as I never wanted them to get hurt and never wanted them to feel left out, but that is part of learning and growing up to be mature. Now, I am so thankful that I backed off when I did and stayed present when I did - always giving "motherly" input when asked - because they have the ability to make good choices on their own when I am not watching or cheerleading and they feel confident in themselves (most of the time) even when things are hard. They come to me and ask for help or advise, even sometimes taking my advise, too!
Anyway, my point is, don't over do for your children - take some space - allow other parents the opportunity to help - if we do it all, no one else tries to help as they EXPECT it will just get done. It really, truly is ok to say, "No, I can't do it this time" once in a while....it is even OK to say it to our children. Believe me when I say this was so hard for me, but now that I am on the other side of trying to be super mom, I (Janet - myself) am so much more content and happy - not harried and crazed about time. It is there to be if you can find the ballance. And, it is often hard to choose between 2 or 3 or 4 good things, but choosing just 1 will allow us to grow and be the best we can be.
well my comment on time is this when ben falls asleep in the car andyou are going to and fro that is a good time to ponder turn off the radio and just think. it can be a good time.w ehave to find "stolen" moments to give ourselves when we are the moms and the pulse of thefam. also the shower works for me that is a good place to get inspiration just ponder and think when youare in there and hope no one is yelling thru the door at you! those are two good places when you can have a few moments to yourself. and the last and best right before you fall asleep. for a mom that is all you can hope for! :) love mom
Micalanne - No, this would not be a good time to ask about my book reading. Our book club is this Thursday & I have not read a word! I missed our August book as well, but I am really trying for October since the book is one of Judy's favorites. When I get a book read, I will be sure to post a profound commentary, to be sure. BTW - my necklace is from Hawaii - made of Koa wood - has a little turtle on it & reminds me that Ben learned to say turtle in Hawaii - ahhhhhh.
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