What's a Mama to do?

It really isn't fair, and quite frankly, I feel a bit betrayed. I know I shouldn't feel this way, and I know it's a bit silly. But . . . hey, I was the one who carried him in my body for 9 months, wasn't I? Didn't I nurse him for hours upon end during his first year of life? I'm quite certain that I was the one who got up with him as a newborn when he needed a 2:00 am feeding. And yes, I am almost positive that during at least the first 6 months of life, I was the one who changed probably 80% of his poopy diapers! And now after all that quality time together - how much time does this 15-month old want to spend with me, when his daddy is around? How about a big fat zero. That's right. In fact, if dad is around, Mr. Ben pretty much wants nothing to do with me. Of course, I'm fine to hang out with when daddy is gone, but if he's around and there's a choice, I am not even a consideration. It just doesn't seem right. Where is the loyalty? Where is the payback for all the hours that I dedicated to his every possible need? Where is that mama's boy of 3 months ago? I don't know, and I'm a little offended by that naughty Ben. I have never had to face this kind of rejection from one of my one-year-olds before. I am not quite sure how to handle it. All my kids have adored their daddy, just not at the expense of mommy. When Ben is in daddy's arms & I ask him if he wants to come see mommy he shakes his head "no" and turns away from me. Mothers everywhere, are you feeling my pain? I am being shunned by my baby!

Don't get me wrong. I am very glad that Ben has Brad & Brad has Ben. They are quite a pair. I certainly don't begrudge Brad his "guy time". He had to put up with a household of all females for almost 10 1/2 years. Certainly he deserves to have a little buddy to hang out with. But, does it just have to come in the form of mommy rejection?


When Brad comes home, Ben grabs his legs & whines until Brad picks him up. When Brad leaves the room, Ben cries & cannot be consoled. How can it be possible that I, Ben's mother, cannot console Ben when his dad leaves the room? Whoever heard of such a thing? Last Sunday Brad was holding Ben during the 3rd hour of church & I went to get him. Brad was sitting on the stand, in front of all the men in the ward & we looked at each other & said "forget it". I think Brad wanted to save me the embarrassment. We both knew that if I attempted to take Ben from Brad that Ben would throw a huge fit in front of all the men and cry for daddy. It wasn't worth it. We would do a secret exchange where no one could see the scene that would occur.

Ben & I spend lots of time together during the day & he's usually fairly happy with me. We have our share of good times, so I know I shouldn't be greedy. As long as his dad's not around he does like me, so I guess I will just be happy with that. I should enjoy my freedom when daddy's around & Ben wants to be with only daddy, right? Obviously I have no choice but to make the best of what I am given & right now, I am given a one-year-old who thinks his dad is the coolest person ever (so do I, incidentally), and if that "cool dude" is around, no one else is good enough. I guess that's OK. It's probably just a stage - right?