People say the darndest things!

I have a friend who comes to my house every Wednesday. She changes all the bedding, mops the floors, vacuums, cleans the bathroom - I love her! Her name is Esther. English is not Esther's primary language, but she tries hard to communicate & has gotten better over the years. She is always sweet to my children & talks to Ben every week. He loves to watch Esther & is fascinated by what she does. So am I! Well yesterday, Esther looked at Ben, and in her limited English said, "Ben, he looks different. He looks fat." Yes, Esther, I guess he does kind of look fat. A better word may have been pudgy, chunky, chubby, filled out, vertically challenged, yada yada yada. But no, the only word Esther could find was FAT! The problem is, Ben is short! It is the plight of short people everywhere - put on the tiniest bit of weight & voila - you are fat! I didn't bother telling her that he was wearing size 3-6 month shorts that day - it wouldn't have made the slightest bit of difference. I like his chubby belly & his pudgy thighs. My bet is that despite it all, at his 15-month well-check, his height & weight will still be below average! We shall see my little fat baby boy!



And now for my Lacey - she is always good for saying something ingenious, clever, or interesting. My mom called me tonight to tell me about a conversation she and Lacey had earlier today. They were working together in my mom's room - my mom was sewing & Lacey was making birthday cards for her cousins. My mom made a little goof on her sewing & said "oh poop". Lacey quickly reprimanded my mom & told her that we don't say "poop" because it is a bathroom word & we don't say bathroom words. (This comes straight from her teachers, I am sure!) So they talked a little about bad words & Lacey came to the conclusion that really bad people must say really bad words. As she was contemplating this, she asked my mom a most serious question. She said, "Mammy, do bad people glitter?" My mom was taken back by the question, not sure how to respond. "Glitter, Lacey, what exactly do you mean?" "you know, Mammy glitter." My mom was sure this must be something really bad, she just didn't know what in the world it could be. "Lacey, I don't think I do know. What is glitter?" "You know mammy, glitter is when people throw things out of their cars & it gets all over the road." "Ohhhh, glitter! Yes, Lacey, bad people glitter." I hope none of you have been glittering lately because you would be BAD in Lacey's eyes! And if you're ever around Lacey - watch out for those bathroom words! She's bound to catch you & call you to repentance.